Some thoughts on prayer and praying

I am often asked about prayers and praying. There has been some great research done on the benefits of this for us individually and also for our communities. As a Christian, I know that prayer is not confined to our faith but is there for all faiths and although people may not know it, for none.

I know that many people ask for prayers for others but sometimes do not pray for themselves. They also have what we call ‘ dry times’ and so I have tried to answer some of the questions I have been asked. There are many theologians better qualified than I who have written about this but I thought a personal response might be helpful to some people who may read this.

My personal experience of prayer and the impact it has had on my faith is something I have experienced in the last 14 months. A diagnosis of cancer is never easy to deal with and operations and recovery are challenging at the very least. Many of you, dear reader, will have had the same experience as I. In some of the dark days of unknowing, the fact that so many people told me they were ‘holding me in prayer’ made all the difference. Those are the words I use for other people when they tell me some of their difficulties ’I will hold you in my prayers’. The research tells us that something special is communicated by this individual or group action which makes a difference. It did make a difference, I certainly felt it and it helped me in the most difficult days. Perhaps, some of that is about feeling cherished, or loved by anyone who tells you they will give time enough to think about you, to lift you up before the Lord in bad and good times. For me it is all about the power of the Holy Spirit, the drive to our actions, our guide and supporter in all we do. It is also about the community in which we all live and work. That members of that community will take time and thought for you, makes all the difference. I know, from my experiences as a Priest that this has made the difference for other people and I can affirm that with my own experience too.

What is Prayer? It’s getting in touch with God.

Why should we pray? In families we quite often have conversations at mealtimes and prayer is like sitting across the table and saying we are here to God.

Is praying just physical? We all do it differently in different places and at different times. We may be in our cars, in our homes, waiting for a bus or ironing or cooking the tea. We need to think, what do I want to express? Perhaps we want to show how much we love God. Perhaps we want to just sit, listening and breathing. Maybe we just want to say it’s all great Lord, thank you.

What is true Faith? Well it may be an opportunity to courageously trust in who God is, and what he has done. God is the real thing, it’s what we see through Jesus’ coming to us. The story we celebrate at Christmas and Easter.

Why do we find this a challenge? Because sometimes we are reluctant to identify with just one community but be a part of many. Some people are not joiners, look at the clubs around us. Also that people think that church isn’t about joy, it’s all a bit dour. It is about saying sorry for what we’ve done wrong, but there is joy in heaven in saying sorry and we feel better. But church often looks like we fall short of joy….We should ask if we look as if we are joyful about being forgiven! More smiles in church perhaps.

What happens when we can’t pray, or we feel it has dried up? If you experience these ‘dry times’ you are not alone. This happens to lots of us, perhaps prayer doesn’t give us what we expect, or we feel left in mid-air not knowing what’s going on. Many serious Christians have felt this way, John Wesley, Mother Teresa to name two. St John of the Cross speaks of the ‘dark night of the soul’ when he couldn’t reach out to God in his prayers. He said that this was an opportunity. We very often have a picture of God, the God we want him to be. But God, in his wisdom, wants to be God, not what ‘we want’ but ‘real to us’. So the opportunity, when we feel God is pushing away these pictures of him, is to recognise the light on the other side of the darkness we are experiencing. It does hurt but it helps if we encourage people to hang on in there, do what keeps you going. Don’t feel you must try harder but look for support, continue to say your prayers because, like getting on the bus, it will get you there, even if we don’t feel like doing it.

What does it mean to be the body of Christ? The call on Christians is to be as Christ’s hands and feet on earth, to support others, share difficulties, and be someone to turn to, share the rough patches with. When our faith is shaking, we need our routines, the affirming presence of the people who are there for us, not judging but ‘feeding’ us as we meet together. We need people who are faithful and generous in helping and supporting us; doing all the things that Jesus taught his disciples and us to do, as told in the Bible stories of his time on earth. It also means to trust in the power of the Spirit, the Holy Spirit, who will guide our actions and our way, if we give time to listen.

Let us pray:

Gracious and loving God, even in our imagination we cannot understand how great you really are and how wonderfully you work and understand us.

Fill us with your Holy Spirit, help us to weather these storms, to open our lives to you so that we may fulfil your purpose in us. Lord, we ask you humbly to hear our prayer. Amen

Revd Cilla